Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
