im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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