I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Are we still banned from the library?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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