I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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