omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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