You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
