Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
