I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
