Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
