the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
