He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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