Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
