Got a toothbrush?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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