just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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