you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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