The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
