we're blogging at a bar
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You were trust falling into bushes
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
