tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize