I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
please don't ironically join a cult
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