You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.