erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.