Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .

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(330): I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia . http://tfl.nu/fovz

Replies (12) Good night (1714) Bad night (2504)
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(417): View more from Missouri

apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.

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(417): apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me. http://tfl.nu/fe7a

Replies (2) Good night (2565) Bad night (656)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy

(1-843): View more from South Carolina

i am grossed the fuck out

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(843): so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy (1-843): i am grossed the fuck out http://tfl.nu/o4kg

Replies (90) Good night (939) Bad night (6794)
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(573): View more from Missouri

worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.

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(573): worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar. http://tfl.nu/lxl8

Replies (20) Good night (1138) Bad night (5571)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."

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(248): Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth." http://tfl.nu/c9w9

Replies (15) Good night (7896) Bad night (919)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.

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(215): Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire. http://tfl.nu/xwgk

Replies (43) Good night (7005) Bad night (1131)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.

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(603): i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm. http://tfl.nu/ifvp

Replies (121) Good night (903) Bad night (4767)
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(618): View more from Illinois

We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.

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(618): We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him. http://tfl.nu/xg0w

Replies (23) Good night (10813) Bad night (949)
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(207): View more from Maine

did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?

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(207): did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in? http://tfl.nu/zbg4

Replies (10) Good night (3049) Bad night (1251)
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(760): View more from California

I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.

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(760): I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable. http://tfl.nu/xt8c

Replies (1) Good night (1089) Bad night (555)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".

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(803): No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional". http://tfl.nu/sdb0

Replies (4) Good night (1219) Bad night (688)
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(425): View more from Washington

I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?

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(425): I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right? http://tfl.nu/i5oh

Replies (1) Good night (1193) Bad night (451)
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(330): View more from Ohio

What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?

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(330): What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed? http://tfl.nu/wlz7

Replies (1) Good night (489) Bad night (312)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted

(815): View more from Illinois

HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA

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(815): Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted (815): HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA http://tfl.nu/meeq

Replies (2) Good night (711) Bad night (395)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.

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(318): Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left. http://tfl.nu/vsck

Replies (9) Good night (303) Bad night (995)

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