Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.

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  (480): oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper. http://tfl.nu/sodt
  Replies (18) Good night (641) Bad night (1274)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again

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  (301): Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again http://tfl.nu/89sh
  Replies (29) Good night (1125) Bad night (2942)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions

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  (813): ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions http://tfl.nu/w3os
  Replies (74) Good night (1458) Bad night (7998)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?

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  (617): My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned? http://tfl.nu/bm6r
  Replies (125) Good night (7796) Bad night (2549)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.

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  (773): I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs. http://tfl.nu/fbpk
  Replies (17) Good night (812) Bad night (3464)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??

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  (201): dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her?? http://tfl.nu/1hfi
  Replies (8) Good night (1153) Bad night (3932)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I slept with him to see his dog one last time

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  (248): I slept with him to see his dog one last time http://tfl.nu/kvlf
  Replies (22) Good night (4403) Bad night (1316)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.

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  (303): I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf. http://tfl.nu/kj2s
  Replies (20) Good night (7158) Bad night (938)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka

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  (913): I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka http://tfl.nu/3gfs
  Replies (5) Good night (2173) Bad night (866)
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  (510): View more from California

  Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed

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  (510): Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed http://tfl.nu/wx92
  Replies (4) Good night (2648) Bad night (890)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...

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  (636): I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem... http://tfl.nu/x4sc
  Replies (5) Good night (993) Bad night (840)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.

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  (727): I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age. http://tfl.nu/xhom
  Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (809)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.

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  (+27): My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like. http://tfl.nu/slfh
  Replies (3) Good night (416) Bad night (1184)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text

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  (404): also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text http://tfl.nu/b0kp
  Replies (3) Good night (406) Bad night (572)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode

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  (956): Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode http://tfl.nu/5ugf
  Replies (1) Good night (257) Bad night (497)

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