I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
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what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
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You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?