Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.

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  (214): She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats. http://tfl.nu/sl2y
  Replies (15) Good night (704) Bad night (4045)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...

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  (660): Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville... http://tfl.nu/5ia7
  Replies (26) Good night (584) Bad night (3746)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.

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  (616): every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2. http://tfl.nu/pgp8
  Replies (10) Good night (3887) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.

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  (504): She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet. http://tfl.nu/znp0
  Replies (48) Good night (10440) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.

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  (203): I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour. http://tfl.nu/xoad
  Replies (26) Good night (8233) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.

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  (409): Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing. http://tfl.nu/yp46
  Replies (22) Good night (1757) Bad night (5148)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me

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  (419): i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me http://tfl.nu/hyzr
  Replies (18) Good night (6374) Bad night (1343)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.

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  (248): I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together. http://tfl.nu/x99f
  Replies (11) Good night (3990) Bad night (1459)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero

  (514): View more from Quebec

  like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride

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  (514): theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero (514): like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride http://tfl.nu/mbnj
  Replies (3) Good night (2152) Bad night (1222)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Delicious

  (646): View more from New York

  I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.

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  (646): There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table. (917): Delicious (646): I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt. http://tfl.nu/gs74
  Replies (5) Good night (1254) Bad night (1178)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!

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  (716): Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it! http://tfl.nu/wiz3
  Replies (4) Good night (1100) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.

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  (215): you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out. http://tfl.nu/raqc
  Replies (5) Good night (1014) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.

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  (330): I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs. http://tfl.nu/h6wa
  Replies (3) Good night (330) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.

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  (703): Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate. http://tfl.nu/y8op
  Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was

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  (301): I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was http://tfl.nu/qgt5
  Replies (1) Good night (551) Bad night (143)

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