Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize