glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved