he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
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nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize