actually, I'm a sock model
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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