Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
