Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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