need another drink. this is the easiest way
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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