Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
