stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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