I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine