I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN