there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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