i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
