dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize