u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
