im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
