Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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