the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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