So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You can't special order awesome
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize