butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
