She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
