i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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