too bad you live with your parents still
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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