Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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