Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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