oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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