i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize