I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
