Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize