He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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