My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
