biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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