do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
