Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam

  (212): View more from New York

  enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening

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  (610): how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam (212): enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening http://tfl.nu/wz05
  Replies (9) Good night (2037) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.

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  (503): I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties. http://tfl.nu/xw7t
  Replies (9) Good night (4825) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce

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  (630): She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce http://tfl.nu/xuim
  Replies (32) Good night (4098) Bad night (1880)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning

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  (843): i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning http://tfl.nu/dohz
  Replies (15) Good night (3820) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress

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  (774): I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress http://tfl.nu/bwko
  Replies (6) Good night (2039) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.

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  (918): Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met. http://tfl.nu/7r98
  Replies (3) Good night (2424) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick

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  (602): Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick http://tfl.nu/rl3u
  Replies (4) Good night (385) Bad night (1304)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.

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  (850): I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this. http://tfl.nu/urhy
  Replies (2) Good night (1096) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.

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  (303): Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up. http://tfl.nu/afn3
  Replies (6) Good night (1005) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.

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  (608): I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot. http://tfl.nu/aflc
  Replies (4) Good night (747) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.

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  (313): We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up. (313): Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals. http://tfl.nu/39hn
  Replies (7) Good night (1353) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.

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  (303): It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple. http://tfl.nu/6uwz
  Replies (1) Good night (494) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset

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  (262): Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset http://tfl.nu/8p8i
  Replies (7) Good night (979) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever

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  (650): You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever http://tfl.nu/tk1a
  Replies (4) Good night (1857) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?

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  (317): Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life? http://tfl.nu/hpvf
  Replies (3) Good night (429) Bad night (146)

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