Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels

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  (810): So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800? (1-810): About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels http://tfl.nu/3nnn
  Replies (5) Good night (1223) Bad night (544)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.

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  (904): I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once. http://tfl.nu/u86e
  Replies (71) Good night (12233) Bad night (1065)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.

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  (815): I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud. http://tfl.nu/wi0l
  Replies (18) Good night (7104) Bad night (707)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.

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  (918): He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things. http://tfl.nu/ox9y
  Replies (16) Good night (1273) Bad night (2990)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.

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  (315): I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions. http://tfl.nu/ogn1
  Replies (3) Good night (2723) Bad night (1004)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.

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  (512): Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids. http://tfl.nu/hflo
  Replies (20) Good night (4281) Bad night (1210)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.

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  (303): Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop. http://tfl.nu/81x3
  Replies (19) Good night (903) Bad night (1804)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.

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  (610): this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all. http://tfl.nu/9oal
  Replies (5) Good night (1027) Bad night (552)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?

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  (425): Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios? http://tfl.nu/2jhx
  Replies (13) Good night (532) Bad night (1379)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.

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  (610): I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels. http://tfl.nu/rc9i
  Replies (9) Good night (917) Bad night (500)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend

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  (506): my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend http://tfl.nu/ehpb
  Replies (14) Good night (4748) Bad night (778)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.

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  (206): After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard. http://tfl.nu/g18p
  Replies (1) Good night (579) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters

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  (971): I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters http://tfl.nu/ncp4
  Replies (1) Good night (755) Bad night (319)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.

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  (919): I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day. http://tfl.nu/lt26
  Replies (4) Good night (842) Bad night (253)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it

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  (832): Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it http://tfl.nu/qafe
  Replies (2) Good night (646) Bad night (303)

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