Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
