yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
That's an oxymoron.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist