So drunk its hurt
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions