Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments