Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives

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  (404): after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives http://tfl.nu/slpi
  Replies (11) Good night (3148) Bad night (1237)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?

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  (817): how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut? http://tfl.nu/0rrw
  Replies (39) Good night (8520) Bad night (1196)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.

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  (443): The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that. http://tfl.nu/d0ly
  Replies (15) Good night (3971) Bad night (1378)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.

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  (281): You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop. http://tfl.nu/puvx
  Replies (4) Good night (1002) Bad night (1711)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.

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  (267): i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/qc92
  Replies (9) Good night (1838) Bad night (819)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.

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  (208): Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable. http://tfl.nu/h9sq
  Replies (7) Good night (1943) Bad night (738)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.

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  (803): High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice. http://tfl.nu/ko1b
  Replies (3) Good night (1205) Bad night (609)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?

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  (508): Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit? http://tfl.nu/74kz
  Replies (7) Good night (957) Bad night (665)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.

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  (480): All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair. http://tfl.nu/6kun
  Replies (7) Good night (554) Bad night (1115)
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  (951): View more from California

  Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.

  (1-951): View more from California

  Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.

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  (951): Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck. (1-951): Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician. http://tfl.nu/esvj
  Replies (10) Good night (1544) Bad night (610)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.

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  (612): My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend. http://tfl.nu/nhy3
  Replies (1) Good night (1047) Bad night (453)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i think i might be a female sloth

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  (617): female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away (781): i think i might be a female sloth http://tfl.nu/d8fr
  Replies (5) Good night (2030) Bad night (460)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.

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  (215): Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise. http://tfl.nu/k2tj
  Replies (0) Good night (394) Bad night (492)
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  (585): View more from New York

  The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.

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  (585): The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt. http://tfl.nu/0ycz
  Replies (2) Good night (556) Bad night (403)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today

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  (630): Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today http://tfl.nu/53sc
  Replies (0) Good night (420) Bad night (226)

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