this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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