I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
