dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
