I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
