Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It was confusing and full of hummus
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
