In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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