As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
