..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize